all my children

At Adam's work party they do casino night. It is tons of fun. We get to actually gamble in blackjack, craps, roulette, poker, all those games and trade in the chips for tickets to win prizes. {the company gives us the chips and there is no real money involved.} We were able to get a grand total of 6 tickets. Most people had like 10-50 tickets. We are not that lucky I guess. Anyway, we split the tickets up and I put my 3 in something and he put his 3 in to win an Ipod touch. It is the one thing he wanted for Christmas, but there was no way he was getting that. When the called out the number he shouted, "YES!!" and jumped up so fast and ran to the front I didn't even realize we had won! It was so funny! And he is so very excited to have this new toy! {and yes, we were able to get out of the house and spend an evening with eachother!}

Lol! Trying to take a picture of all the kiddos!

Logan looks very intently at things. Love it!


All the Beck grandkids. We just got back from a nice weekend in Logan with all the fam.

The boys hangin' together.

Adam figured out that every time we get pregnant we double the size of our family...we are a little nervous for quadruplets!

cast on/cast off

Elisha got her cast off a week ago! I really should not use an exclamation point in her opinion. She was not in the least bit excited. She was very proud of her cast and had grown to not mind it and liked to show off the things she could do while it in. She had become like a turtle with her shell and taking it off was like taking a turtle's shell off - devastating. When the Dr. told her it was coming off and was talking to her about it, she said to him, "I want a yellow cast this time." Haha! We said, "No, you are not going to have any cast on, you will have your legs!" She was less than happy.

But she did great while taking it off. This is quick pic during the procedure. She did not cry at all! She was very brave and the nurse said it was the cleanest spica cast she had ever seen! In this pic, the bottom half is still under her and the top half was cut and pulled off and you can see it in the upper left corner. She didn't cry till I had to get her dressed. Moving her legs at all was very painful.

In the stroller headed out. She has to sleep in this brace for 6 weeks. Her legs were very hairy and had tons of gross dead skin. We gave her 2 baths a day for a couple days to get it all off.


This was the first time she got to hold her brothers without her cast on. It was really awkward before. She was very proud here.

Elisha is doing fine. She was in a lot of pain all last week. Still is. She will kind of stand up if leaning against things, but is still not able to do much. She is like a paraplegic, just dead weight from her waste down. Her orneriness came back last week. She was about as unhappy as she was the first few weeks in her cast. Every move is painful and she does not have much strength in her legs. But she will get there and we are one step closer to having her be "normal" again.

a moment like this

to sum up what has been happening here, i am going to randomly tell significant moments from the last 6 weeks. yes, the twins are now 6 weeks. it has flown by! i am in full zombie mode now, and with these babies, adam is too. he is not used to getting up so much at night with babies and he is pretty tired too. we both have to get up every time i feed them because i can’t put them back to sleep alone yet, i have tried, it does not work. so, on to our moments lately:

i wear my mascara for an average of one week before removing it and putting fresh eye makeup on. will i go blind?

one night this was the situation: i am rocking a screaming logan, elisha is asking adam to do something for her, she wants a toy or to be moved, or something she is incapable of doing right now, he is holding another crying baby: parker, and talking on the phone with whomever. baylee is on the toilet yelling "someone wipe me, i pooped!" and the other phone is ringing.

we have moments where we just laugh at the chaos. like at 3 am when both boys are crying on our bed while we change their diapers and suck boogars out and adam and i are half awake hardly able to talk to each other in complete sentences and i think i have logan when i really have parker because i have not bothered to open my eyes enough to see.

or other nights when we just get both boys asleep and baylee throws up all over. (in the morning we find that elisha had thrown up all over too.)

some days i will be nursing and i nurse them at the same time, and elisha will be standing right in front of me trying to entertain herself and baylee is off playing alone. i just pray that elisha will not freak out and need something while i am stuck in my position.

i just love when i get all 4 kids to sleep, lay down on my bed and just about nod off, when one of the babies starts crying. oooh, that is my favorite!

a few days ago the boys wanted to be held. every time i put one down, he would start crying until he got picked up again. so i am picking one kid up, putting him down, picking up the other, putting him down, and so on, for as long as it takes until one is asleep or happy enough to be left down. what is really comical is when the phone is ringing at the same time, someone is at the door and elisha needs something. (yes, it happens quite often!)

i have decided to laugh as often as i can. our situation is just funny to me. so i have made it this far without breaking down once! pretty proud of myself. instead of crying, i try to laugh! it is just funny that we have all these kids right now that need so much help.

we really are enjoying each moment though, usually. we love these boys. they are starting to smile. oh, i love it! we love when they cuddle with each other or hang out together on the blanket and hit each other. it is so cute! we love when logan starts sucking on parker's head, or parker will grab hold of logan's arm and suck on it.

we love watching the girls hold them and coo over them. they are both fascinated with these little men. it is so wonderful to see the love that has grown inside of them for these boys. we thought elisha might resent them, but she does not, she wants to play with them and hold and kiss them. love it!

we went to az for thanksgiving! yes, we are crazy! but it was really a great trip! the girls drove with cam and kristin! they did "great" according to cam, i don’t know how honest he was, but i will take it! adam and i had a great trip down. we really enjoyed our talk time; we don’t have much of that.

coming home was a bit harder, the boys were not has happy for that drive; but still, it was so nice to not have the girls too.

we had a great meal at my mom’s with all the nevitts. the next night was a barn dance at the farm to celebrate pop's 80th birthday! it was really fun! we only stayed a few minutes, the boys didn’t even get to go in the barn, it was too dusty and they were not liking the dust. but my dad took the boys for a few minutes so we could go dance with the girls.

the look on elisha's face while dancing in there was priceless. it was one of those moments where you wish you have a camera hanging from your chest to capture the pure joy and happiness your child is experiencing. of course, i didn’t have a camera, but i sure loved dancing with the girls for a few minutes. i wish we could have spent more time there with all the family, the 1 hour was way too short, but we were happy for it.

we also had a little get together with a few of the calls the next night. it was so nice to see some of them and show the twins off.

the cub scouts raked our leaves! it was wonderful. they did it when about half our leaves had fallen, so the other half are still under the snow, but we still appreciated it so much.

we have had many meals brought in. they are wonderful. i don’t cook right now. actually, i have made a few batches of friendship bread, yum! but that is about it.

i also have a good friend who comes over almost every day to help me out. i could not be doing this without her. she paints the girls nails, plays with them, does my laundry, makes my beds, cleans my house, does everything i have neglected. she is wonderful! she even babysat the twins so we could go to the festival of trees.

baylee wrote this note in preschool to santa: dear santa, for christmas i want a talking cinderella bird and for my sister i want her to get her cast off. {so sweet of her to remember elisha!}

we have hardly given the thought of christmas a second thought. to us, christmas this year will be to get her cast off and try to have the boys sleeping a good 6 hours at night. we will see if we get the sleep, but we know her cast is coming off. yea!

after elisha got her new cast on, driving home she said to my mom these 2 things:
"meme, take me back to the hospital so the doctor can take this new cast off too."
"meme, what happened to my pink cast?" her new cast is "aggie blue!" {the color taught her by her daddy, of course!}

elisha got her first hair cut! we were sick of the bed head and it is darling.

i thought hers was so dang cute, i cut mine too. my darling cousin, kenzie, came to see the boys and i asked her to make me beautiful!

baylee: we should get mommy a surprise for christmas!
adam: ok, what?
baylee: i want to get mommy a flower, a red one.
adam: do you want anything else?
b: yeah, a diamond ring!
elisha: yeah, a diamond ring!

cast comes off in a few days! we really can’t wait. i don’t think elisha really cares, when we talk about it she does not act like it is a big deal.

baylee: mommy, i like to hold babies that are awake, not asleep. and i like to hold babies that are happy, not mad and crying.

elisha is becoming so accepting of her cast. she is doing so well! i worry about her all the time and worry that she is unhappy, but she really isn’t. in az she spent the days outside with my dad on the scooter or in the stroller or helping him with the christmas lights. she would just hang out and be happy all day. she would ask people to take her on the tramp so she could jump. there was just one sad moment when all the little kids at thanksgiving dinner we playing in my mom’s big sand box and she was standing there with cameron looking sadly at the sand box. you could tell he and her were debating on if she could go in there without getting in trouble. luckily she didn’t go in, but i felt so sad she missed out.

i am sitting on the floor with all the kids around me waiting for adam to get home. both boys are crying and i am picking them up one at a time and the girls are trying to help me. the phone rings, it is my good friend, i debate on answering it because of the chaos, but i do and i am laughing. she asks what is so funny. it is funny because i have not talked to her hardly since the twins were born and i want to talk, but i can’t because everyone is crying and it is even funnier that i probably won’t get a chance for a while. instead of being sad, i had to laugh.

adam is changing logan's diaper in our bed. i am always telling him to put a blanket under the baby he changes in our bad but he says, "just let me do it my way." logan poops all over the bed! nice! i love washing the sheets, and mattress cover 2 days after i just did them. {he now uses a blanket. ;D}

it took me 2 days to select a tie to send my brother jared. with all the kids and everything it takes me forever to get anything done. just like this post, i started it sunday afternoon, and i still have yet to get some pics on here and post this...

$25,000: the medical bill for elisha's cast (it is actually more than that!)

we put christmas up! i was very impressed, i have put up a bit of our other decor too besides the tree. it took us a long time to get it all set up with all the distractions but we had a good time doing it as a family.

with the help of our buddy jake, adam was able to even put up christmas lights. jake set up our tree for us too. it is so hard for adam to find time to do manly stuff and stuff that needs to get done because he is helping me.

many people have popped in to help me out. i am so touched by everyone who has reached out to us to help with anything. it has been wonderful and has been a great example to me. my girls have been very well taken care of with people coming and taking them places to give me a break.

today we went out! i didnt even take baylee but it was a hoot trying to get all 3 kids in and out of our van! haha! then to get the stroller out, put elisha in it, get a cart, try to see if the 2 boys can fit in one cart together so we don't have to haul 2 carts around and a stroller. luckily they fit in every store and we just put mercandice on the top of either the stroller or cart...funny!

when elisha got her pink cast off we let her pick the new color. we had no idea what she would pick. she had talked about green, purple, and blue.

for the week before she got it off, we finally let people sign it. any family or friends that came to see her had the chance to say something. even elisha herself collored on it. it was fun for her! we only kept the bar, all the rest would be so stinky!

we are doing lovely! it is snowing outside - beautiful! love it! i hope i somehow make it out to the slopes this year because i have all new gear! anyway! had hot chocolate this morning for breakfast and enjoyed it while talking to my 2 girls just after nursing the 2 cutest little boys i have ever seen! good times with all my children!

Baylee Bug

I have talked a lot about Elisha and the twins lately. Not to be forgotten is my Baylee bug.

She loves life and everything about it.

Right now she is my little helper. She gets me anything I need, helps with the twins and keeps Elisha entertained. She is a big blessing to us and we are so happy to have her in our family.

She can do her own hair! That is right, she puts ponytails in all by herself and they actually look alright. She will add the bow and clips some times too. It is cute how much she wants to be independent.

She is in love with the twins and loves to hold them. She talks sweetly to them and just genuinely likes them.

She is in preschool too and likes that. It is good for her to get out of the house and have kids her age to play with right now.

Baylee even stays calm when the boys cry. But if they spit up, she gags and about throws up herself! She turns 4 in January and is very excited. "When I turn 4, I can ___________" and she fills in the blak with anything from nurse the twins to get married. Funny!

twinners

i tried to take some pics of these 2 the other day. they didnt trun out that great, but i still like them!

parker top, logan bottom



parker left, logan right

these boys are the skinniest babies i have had. i love their little "frog legs." they have not chuncked out yet and i love how little and tiny everything is on their body!

my mom's friend made these blankets with their names on them, so you know who is who in the pics.

parker

"my life in ruins" VS. "a walk in the clouds"

the last little over a week has been pretty hectic. there are times i feel like my life in is ruins and times i feel like i am walking in the clouds. walking in the clouds has a double meaning. one, i am tired and dont quite know what is going on, and 2, i am in heaven with these 2 little boys and 4 little kids that i love so much.

a short story of my hospital experience:

i had a c-section because the boys were breech. it was really nice to schedule it and have a plan. we got there and i got all hooked up and we waited for an hour before anything happened. then, they were behind schedule and rushed me to the OR because my doc was annoyed they were behind and wanted to "do this." we get to the OR and not all the teams are ready. with twins there is about double the people in there for all that is going on. so my doc and the anesthesiologist left to deal with other patients while waiting for the teams. i had to lay there on the table on my back. it was painful! my tummy was so big that it didnt feel good to lay on my back, it really hurt! anyway, we waited for 45 minutes or so until everyone was ready and present. they did the spinal (amazing, worked in seconds!) and cut me open. We have some pretty cool pics that i will spare my blog from. i made adam take pics throughout the surgery because i could not see and i wanted to. the meds for some reason made me really out of it (like walking in the clouds). i could hardly talk louder than a whisper and i felt barely coherant. my arms were outstretched on the table, you cant tell in the pic though, and strapped down, i hated that part. but it was all over fast.

The boys got to kiss me and were taken to get checked and all that and i didnt see them for another couple hours or so, i really cant remember, i was out of it the rest of the night.

they came back and i got to hold and feed them and try to figure out who was who. i was confused all night wondering which one i was holding. "is this the bigger one? is this baby A or B? is this the one that came out first or second? is this the one with dark hair or light hair? is this the one that was a little cold or the one that was breathing fast?" i could not keep them straight.

it took till 10pm that night to finally have a minute to sit them next to eachother and look at them and name them. that evening was spent rushing guests around to look at the boys 2 at a time. adams parents, the girls, my sis-in-law, and my bro, his wife and my sis all showed up about the same time to see the boys and only 2 visitors were allowed. not only that, but at the time they all showed up, parker was cold and under the heat lamp and logan was breathing too fast and not allowed to come back to my room. so adam was running people from the nursery to my room and back to get a look at both boys. then he would take one person out and get the next one in line. (again, i think this is was happened, i was in my room the entire time trying to speak normally and keep my eyes open.) adam and cam ended up giving logan a blessing in the nursery because they almost took him to the NICU and we didn't want that and as soon as they did, he calmed down and was able to come back to our room.

we were not as good at taking pics of eachother with the boys this go-round. this is one of just a few, and i only took one of adam...


the boys got to share the crib the entire time, it was so cute!


the next day i was feeling much better and not out of it. i was able to get up and move around and take a shower! before i showered though, i clipped my toenails, ped-egged my feet and shaved my legs for the first time in like 4 months! it was so great! yea, i am still smiling right now thinking about how good that felt.
the girls were not allowed to see the boys. we tired to talk our nurse into letting them, but she woud not budge! baylee was in tears. it was sad. the girls left for logan that first night and were there the entire week. they had a blast with grandma and grandpa.

When we got home the first night adam and i was up literally the entire night! it was a mess! the next night only one of us was up at a given time with the boys. we have worked out tails off since then to keep them awake more and get them on a schedule. they are doing pretty good now.

This is not the same boy. above is parker and below is logan. {btw: "daniel" is adams middle name, that is why we named logan "logan daniel"}

We like to put them by eachother when we can. they are sharing a bed and will for as long as it works. this is them in the bouncer! hehe! so cute!

So the girls love the boys. When they first met them they were so proud and enthrawled with them. they are both always begging to hold them. they want to help keep them awake or give them binkys, whatever. it is so cute. these 2 pics of the girls with them were taken the first time they help their little brothers.

the little beck family:

yea, baylees face says it all.

we are doing good. hangin in there. we take each moment as it comes. when elisha gets her cast off life will be so much better. i cannot pick her up and so i always need someone with me, and having 2 people for these 4 kids is a lot of times not enough. 3 is best because then we can actually eat and take showers and wash some laundry. we have had a lot of help and have felt very blessed and loved by so many people.

pretty much every mother of twins i have talked to says that the first year is just a blur (looking back on it). i bet that will happen with me and so i am going to try to blog as much about it so that when i look back and say it was a blur, i can prove myself wrong and have specific stories and memories. but we will see how good i do!

the princess diaries

our halloween was fun. both girls wanted to be princesses. baylee was a princess bride and elisha was snow white. both dresses came from aunt bobo (amberlee). she wore the white dress at my wedding reception. it is now a favorite dress-up dress.

Cam and Kristin cam over to help with the boys. so adam and i could go out t-or-t-ing. we took turns and had a good time. a few people stopped by and many friends peeked in to see the babies. we had a good time with kristin and cam. kristin made adam her delish apple pie because he deserved it after going through my pregnancy, we all loved it and they helped us eat up our halloween candy too.

kristin got the girls completely ready that night, hair and all. baylees was gorgeous, and i never took a pic of the back. elisha looked so cute in her little headband kristin made. i was so glad she was there because i would have not been able to get their hair done.

this is elisha singing the witch song again. that is her hat!

i was even able to go out and t-or-t for a little bit. dr. said it was good for me. so i did. nice to get out!